the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
