Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
