FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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