How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize