Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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