so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
