So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
