Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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