I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
