It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
