Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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