God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
