i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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