I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need to sanitize my soul.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
