You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
