There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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