No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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