you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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