shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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