what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
