Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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