hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
