Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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