I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
