Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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