If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
