I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize