Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
