is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
