i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
