Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
