make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
