I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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