so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
