at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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