I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
