so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
