im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
