sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
