Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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