Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize