dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
