Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
