Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize