do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's the barista slut.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize