And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
