This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize