Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
