Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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