The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
