i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
