If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize