If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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