Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize