we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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