My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
