If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
