Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
