drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
